It’s not enough to convince employees to thumbs up and re-post all company related news flashes on LinkedIn, you need to make them look good among their peers. To get them to stand out, you should set a re-occurring 2-year reminder in your Outlook to promote them. But of course not in that expensive monetary way, but with a spiced up new title. It used to be a hassle, but nowadays people don’t even use business cards so there are barely any costs involved. Better yet, the word “promotion” will actually translate to promoting your company.

Any large corporation with superfluous (but of course overworked) HR staff will have created a career ladder with clear steps from junior, senior, associate, vice president to almost partner. You might think this jargon is a waste of time, but it’s a crucial money saver. When you are not allowed to hire any more FTE’s and the headquarters have figured out that you are circumventing it by hiring external consultants, you will be sitting there with stressed out employees that are threatening to leave. As their salary is (of course) capped – then you are only left with one card in your sleeve: a precious title.

In a closed community, such as an army base, county jail or corporate office, the dress code, titles and the quality of coffee become vital status symbols. Just like re-drawing the organization chart every four years, large corporations need to revamp employee titles. Just because your employees are losers, doesn’t mean that they have to feel like losers. Be generous for once and give them a title they can proudly post on LinkedIn to attract more ants to your office.

Lastly, a word about the unfireable seniors. You might want to consider luring them into a certification with initials they can add to their name on LinkedIn. But make sure it is the most prestigious (most difficult!) certification out there. You pay for the 5-year course provided that they pass the nearly impossible exam. Two years in and their locked. If they do pass the exam, you might actually have an unicorn that you should bathe in money. Promote them and don’t let them go independent. Most importantly, don’t let them read any Vanilla Equity articles.

#newjob #promotion #newtitle

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