The annual Tax Payers Awards, a hallmark of fiscal distinction, unfolded last night with record-breaking attendance and an unprecedented low in registered participants. Anticipation mounted hours before the event as crowds gathered outside the grand theater, eager to witness the unique spectacle.
International attendees were shepherded through dedicated channels. EU participants, who had diligently completed regulatory forms online, entered seamlessly, as did Chinese attendees, whose irises—pre-scanned at birth—functioned as entry passes. Meanwhile, US participants were subjected to submitting printed W23u forms, Mexicans were exempt and multiple passport holders paid the minimum entrance fee.
Inside, the bar served as a microcosm of the world’s fiscal idiosyncrasies. Prices set and taxed accordingly. Manhattan cocktails were priced tax-free but taxed, Singapore Slings were reserved exclusively for non-US attendees with the proprietary app. The Parisienne cocktail was a cash-only indulgence, Swedish glögg required card payments, whereas Finnish vodka—sold at thrice the price—was relegated to a separate room. It was however closed as it was pass governmental working hours.
As expected, the individual awards aligned with Polymarket’s predictions, while the country-specific accolades struggled to garner sufficient votes. Despite the proliferation of AI tools, writing and reading the tax code, public engagement and interest in taxes remained tepid.
In keeping with tradition, the coveted titles of Tax King and Tax Queen were awarded based on the highest individual contributions for the fiscal year 2023. Their honors included statues erected in Central Park and parliamentary board seats as part-time untaxed employment. Also unpaid. Runner-ups were granted streets* named in their honor, while all nominees earned the privilege of deciding how their tax contributions would be allocated.
The evening’s highlight, the elusive Red Fox Award, celebrated the lowest-taxed high earner. The recipient was automatically inducted as an advisor to the international tax board and appointed secretary to select local councils, including DOGE.
Below are the winners of the 2024 Tax Awards.
Tax King
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Tax Queen
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The Red Fox
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Efficiency Award
Sweden. Sweden has taken transparency to its zenith with an open-source tax system that places all personal financial data—collected by the government—freely online for anyone to access, including foreign observers. The dismantling of privacy is heralded by proponents as a bold step toward societal and gender equality through envy. The government reported tax savings from the complete abolishment of cybersecurity and the over-regulated, expensive privacy legislation. Residents no longer need to calculate the taxes they owe, they can simply ask their neighbors.
Tax Innovation Of The Year
USA. The creative relabeling of taxes as tariffs reduced the tax burden by 30%.
Fair Play Award
Norway. Despite having the largest sovereign wealth fund, the tax level was 45% of GDP. However, the workday still ends at 3 PM sharp.
*The awards are taxed based on the local real estate value.